


Swim around that drowning feeling

by Anzuss



Series: Let me see you (Springdove) [2]
Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Attraction, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Positive Touchy-Feely, Romantic Tension, Snusmumriken | Snufkin Has a Tail, Swimming, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 02:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30132867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anzuss/pseuds/Anzuss
Summary: Summer days at the beach are meant to be spent together, but aching to be close while keeping their distance is harder to manage than they thought.
Relationships: Mumintrollet | Moomintroll/Snusmumriken | Snufkin
Series: Let me see you (Springdove) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2218176
Comments: 19
Kudos: 20





	Swim around that drowning feeling

Snufkin loved the sea, that was a well-known fact. He visited the beach frequently, sometimes alone, to smoke and let his thoughts go away with the breeze, sometimes accompanied by his friends to play around or take naps. No matter the occasion, he always found that the scent of salted water and the open landscape filled his chest with something he could quite describe as belonging.

He saw himself as the waves, coming and going in gentle or strong motions depending on the weather and how bright the moon shone, traveling around the world helping people to reach their destinations.

-“The waves don't promise to come back, but you trust they will do even in their constant bustle. And when they come back, they always bring something beautiful with them, like the shells they carry to the shore”.

\- “Just like you!”- Moomintroll excitedly spoke. His body was submerged in a tide pool they had found, with water so clear that first they had thought it was empty. His face rested on his arms with the expression of someone who was having a pleasant lazy day.

Snufkin smiled at Moomin from the rock he was sitting in, and then returned his gaze to the wood figure he was carving. -“But they wouldn’t be called waves if they didn´t crash in the sand. It´s a mutual understanding, each one exists for the other to be itself”. 

He left his knife aside to examine his work: an albatross with long, extended wings. From the periphery he could see Moomin, staring at him, expecting him to elaborate. The hot summer weather made him sleepy, and he was sure he was rambling at that point, but he knew Moomintroll as being one to always carefully dissect each of his words. 

To keep the image of the wise friend he had to keep talking, but before he did he focused on the feeling of the sand tickling his feet, the humid breeze sticking his hair to his neck, and the sun rays hitting his back. He loved summer, with its long sunny days and the promise of adventures. 

Warmth radiated through him as he smiled, convinced that there was no better feeling than being with the things he loved the most. 

-“The sand stays in one place, welcoming people, creatures, and waves. From the distance, it always looks the same, but it keeps transforming, changing its shape, making new crevices and tide pools. The sand is always warm if you lay down, and even after you leave, you find traces of it on your clothes and shoes, reminding you of the wonderful time you had on the beach".

Moomintroll kept his gaze fixed at Snufkin, not saying a word. Only the sound of the water hitting the rocks and distant birds chirping could be heard, making Snufkin wonder why the silence felt so tense compared to a few minutes ago. 

\- “But what if the sand doesn't want to stay, waiting for the waves to come? what if it wishes to be carried by the tides? Would that make it less of itself?”

Snufkin kept playing with the wooden albatross as if he was concentrating on observing it. - “Are you sure that's what the sand wants?”

Moomintroll lowered his face, suddenly doubting his own words- “I guess so. But right now it only wishes for the waves to keep it company”.

The direction the conversation was taking had started to make Snufkin oddly nervous. He felt thankful for having his hat on, else he was sure his voice would have trembled when he replied - “They can't stay together, the waves will only wash the sand away. That's their nature, they can't control the force to which they impact”.

-“You think low of the sand. It hasn't gotten any smaller in all these years containing the sea” -Moomintroll spoke, feeling the fine sand dancing around his paws, kicking to keep him afloat - “it only grows softer with each crash”.

Snufkin stretched the silence, watching the horizon, while Moomintroll pierced him with his gaze as if that could make him talk sooner.

\- "But how could it welcome back the waves if it went away?" 

At this reply, Moomintroll frowned. Sometimes he felt like talking with Snufkin was as difficult as standing on one leg, no matter how hard he tried to go straight to the point he always managed to make him trip over his own words. 

It was uncomfortable to talk that way. Metaphors and whatnot, he never got to know if they were talking about the same thing, or if he was seeing a double meaning where there was just a meaningless meditation.

He looked around for something else to talk about, seeing that the current talk was leading nowhere. -"Do you want to swim to that pit?" 

Snufkin made a dramatic gesture like thinking carefully, to shake off the former tension. - “That sounds like fun, but I must admit this rock is quite comfortable”. 

\- “Oh come on, Snufkin”- Moomin pouted. 

Snufkin chuckled and quickly began undressing, first taking out his hat and carefully putting the wooden figure inside. When he began removing the rest of his clothes Moomintroll couldn´t stop himself from peeking at how his shirt got stuck in his cloak, showing his slim waist, and neither when he removed his pants and his freed tail stood proud, twitching in slow entrancing motions. 

-"It's rather cold"- Snufkin said, sitting on the edge with his feet on the water. 

-"Surely some cold water won't stop you. What are you, a mumrik or a mouse?" - Moomin teased, leisurely swimming on his back with his arms under his head.

Snufkin laughed at hearing his own words used against him - "Both quite respectable creatures, I dare say". 

-"Well yes, but we better not let the rest find out that the much-admired Snufkin is actually a mouse in disguise". 

Snufkin smiled and began descending through the rocks, slipping in the last one and falling to the water. Moomintroll shouted his name with alarm, propelling himself to catch him. Snufkin was moving his arms with distress, his head with his mouth open barely over the surface when Moomintroll got to lift him with his arms, receiving some hits on his snout from the frenetic movement. 

-"Snufkin, it's me, calm down. Breathe".

As told, Snufkin stopped kicking, coughing forcefully. 

\- “You gave me a fright!" - he said, dropping Snufkin to raise his arms scandalized. Snufkin panicked when he began sinking again, wrapping his arms around Moomintroll´s neck. He caught him by the waist again, apologizing -"Sorry. Let me take you to shallow ground".

Moomintroll kicked with his legs, trying not to focus on the way Snufkin had locked his legs around his hips, making it hard to move. He carried him to the edge of the pool, shallow enough to let both stand, releasing a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding when they separated. 

\- “It's freezing" - Snufkin spoke with his teeth clacking.

Moomintroll gave him a death stare - “You almost drowned and you are complaining about the water temperature?”

\- “I wasn't expecting it to be that deep".

\- “You don't know how to swim” -the troll spoke with a bitter tone, laughing wryly- “and here I was, challenging you to do something so dangerous”.

\- “There are many things I don´t know, apart from swimming. Having something such as knowledge of every matter sounds like a heavy load”- Snufkin replied, defensively -” And I am just fine, no need to be tedious”.

Moomintroll took a deep breath to calm himself down, and spoke softening his gaze. - "I´m sorry, I´m still jumpy. You really scared me, why didn't you tell me you can't swim?”

Snufkin turned his face, avoiding Moomintroll's eyes - ”Why does it matter? I can enjoy the sea even if I don't know how to swim".

Moomintroll knew it made no sense to keep arguing when he could sense how much stress the accident had caused Snufkin; even if he tried to hide it with his serious expression, his dilated pupils and rapid breath were a clear sign that he got scared as much as him. 

An idea light up in his mind, lifting his mood -“Maybe you can enjoy it in the non-exciting Moominvalley"- he spoke carefully, moving to Snufkin's front to catch his eyes - "But you never know when you might get captured by pirates in one of your adventures. Wouldn't it be unfortunate if you had to spend your days in an old boat with filthy pirates because you couldn't escape swimming?"

Snufkin smirked, knowing where the troll was going with such a bizarre scenario - "Considering you were right, where could I find someone who can teach me how to swim?"

"I can!" - Moomin beamed, then leaned his arm on the pool deck in a cool pose - "You know, I am a rather good swimmer, I was thinking it would be a good idea to teach you how to swim". 

Snufkin touched his chin, pensively - ”I see, but there's only one problem with that"- he made a dramatic pause, looking at how Moomintroll's smug face dropped - "If I learn how to swim, who are you going to save from drowning?”. 

Moomintroll chuckled, then brought his head closer. -"I can still save you". 

Hotness escalated from Snufkin's neck to his whole face when he felt his voice so close to his face. Moomintroll's smooth impression could have been terrifically attractive if it weren't for the fact that his face was burning with embarrassment as much as Snufkin's.

He wasn't sure why, but the realization that his friend had grown from the cheerful fluffy ball that once welcomed him to Moominvalley hit him like a train. Well, maybe he still was a cheerful fluffy ball, but under all that now he could see a full-grown Moomin, one who had easily picked him up with his big soft paws when he was drowning and was now whispering with his grown-up voice sending shivers through his spine… 

_Oh, not again._

As if summoned, the bugging feeling he had experienced for many months whenever he was close to Moomintroll made presence. Except now it made sense. 

-"I- I would like that a lot"- he coughed to clear his voice - "In fact, I believe we should start with these lessons as soon as possible". 

-"Great! Yes, we should start immediately" - Moomintroll spoke nervously, then offered his paw - "Shall we?". 

He took his paw and got dragged to deeper ground. He was optimistically hoping that the swimming lessons would help him calm his nerves.

\- “Well, first you should learn how to float. Try raising your feet above the surface leaning on my arms".

Snufkin tried to do as told, hopping and bending his legs on his back, but his body refused to float.

-"I can´t do this”- he exclaimed with frustration after several tries. 

-“Don't give up yet. Let's keep trying, alright? Maybe it would be easier if you try floating on your back " - Moomin reassured him, taking Snufkin's hands and caressing the knuckles with his thumbs- “Relax your body, you are as stiff as a board”. 

Snufkin took a deep breath and closed his eyes, resting his head in the water. He concentrated on the sound of the waves and the cold water biting his skin, feeling his body become lighter.

\- “Yes! Just like that”- the troll cheered him, letting go of one of his hands. The unexpected loss of a resting point made Snufkin waver and squeal with distress. - “Don´t worry, I got you”- he heard, feeling a paw under his back lifting him up.

The water on his ears made the sounds muffled, making the rest of his sense sharpen. The sun bothered his eyes even with his eyelids shut, half of his body over the surface felt warm and the other half submerged felt cold, and his hair plastered uncomfortably on his face. But what tormented him the most was the paw pressing his back; even if he tried to stay still the water kept his body moving back and forth, brushing the fur just slightly enough to send tingles through his skin. 

They kept in that position for what felt like hours, like a slow torture. Close but not close enough to alleviate the growing itch inside him. 

Moomintroll kept holding Snufkin´s body to keep it floating, his curious eyes mapping him. Not usually he got to see Snufkin with such detail, always hiding in his baggy clothes, and the few times he let him see him it was in the dark of his tent. In the light of the day, he could see the freckles painting his skin, smooth and pale in his legs, and slightly tanned in his face. It was interesting to him how not a single inch of his body looked similar; each detail a hint of his lifestyle and identity, from the scrapes and cuts in his hands to the lines in his frown.

\- ”Now try kicking with your legs extended”-Moomintroll instructed.

Snufkin began kicking fast, trying to ignore the weird tingles plaguing his abdomen - “Woah wait, slow down”.- the paw had suddenly grabbed him by the waist to stop his movement, a gasp escaping him. Even with his eyes closed, Snufkin was sure his face was as red as if the sun rays had mercilessly hit him for hours.

He apologized, opening his eyes and planting his feet on the ground. With Moomintroll´s paws holding his hand and waist it looked as if they were getting ready to dance, and if his blush wasn't noticeable before he was absolutely sure now it was. He felt how his breath caught when the paw slowly slid to his hips, blue eyes staring at him.

Moomintroll was absent-minded, his thumbs tracing the edge of Snufkin´s hip bone over his underpants.

\- “How am I doing?”- Snufkin asked with a closed lips smile. 

\- “Beautiful”- Moomin muttered, opening his eyes like plates when he realized what he had said, seeing Snufkin blush intensely. -"Oh no, I'm sorry, Snufkin. I didn't mean to say that". 

Snufkin's lips twitched, releasing his hand. - "No, of course you didn't" - He couldn´t understand the reason why he felt so hurt by hearing him say it was just a misword.

-"Wait, no, you are misunderstanding. I mean what I said” -Moomintroll panicked, taking his hand again- “ but I wasn't supposed to say it out loud. I am sorry, I really am, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable". 

Snufkin lowered his eyes, unable to stare at the troll's guilty face. He felt ashamed of having pushed Moomin to explain himself to make him feel better. - "You don't make me uncomfortable…" - He rubbed his arm, embarrassed - “It´s just that, I have never been this close to someone before. It's confusing to hear you say that".

Moomintroll raised a brow, intrigued at receiving such reply. He was expecting him to excuse himself to get out of the pool and put his clothes on and give him the cold shoulder for the rest of the week. - “Confusing how?”

Snufkin bit his lip nervously. He had promised Moomintroll he was going to open up to him, but he was reluctant, and if he dare say, scared of sharing too much of himself. - “There is this feeling". 

\- “A feeling?” 

\- “Yes. Whenever I am with you I feel like I'm bursting with it, and it aches”. 

Moomintroll's ears flattened - “You mean, I make you feel bad?”

\- “No, not like that”- Snukin sighed exasperatedly. - “It's hard to explain it to someone who has never felt it before”

\- “Why do you assume I have never felt the same?”

Snufkin raised his face with surprise. Moomintroll was staring at him, his clear blue eyes a mix of so many emotions that Snufkin gave up on trying to detangle them all. The grip on his hip tightened, and he could only manage to move his mouth like a fish, not a sound coming out from it. 

Time stopped, all outside noise muted. That instant was only theirs, two boys in the middle of a wide blue mirror, staring at each other desperately looking for answers they couldn't articulate. 

Moomintroll felt a tug in his chest, pushing him to close their distance. Moomin brushed Snufkin´s wet hair out of his face, smiling at how adorable he looked with the blush painting both his cheeks. Snufkin put his arms around his neck, pressing their chests together, and he felt how quickly yet in synchrony their hearts were beating. Moomintroll lowered his head and nuzzled Snufkin´s neck, slow and tenderly, enjoying the salted water and tobacco smell on his skin. 

\- “I think I love you”.

The words came out easily, like a whisper, but in such silence he felt as if he had screamed it to an open sky. Never before had he pronounced those words with such devotion; it was scary yet liberating to gift his heart with no promise of it being returned.

Snufkin felt like floating, and if it weren't for Moomin's paws anchoring him he was sure he would have floated away by now. But he was there, in Moomintroll's arms, hearing him pronounce what he could only dare to imagine. It was surreal, and the most rational side of his brain refused to believe it was true, trying to convince him he had misheard. 

It ached, all the affection filling him up just to drown him. It felt incredibly warm to be held so closely, but it also left him out of breath, as if the water had raised engulfing both, filling their lungs with liquid. 

He leisurely ruffled the white fur on Moomintroll´s chest with his fingers, up and down like the seafoam on the shore. -"I would not rush to call what we feel love". 

Moomintroll caressed his cheek, with a soft smile.- “Then we should find out what it means, together”.

  
  
  
  
  


\- "See? there was no need for me to learn how to swim. I have the fluffiest boat in the whole valley" - Snufkin beamed, his body lazily resting over Moomintroll's belly, who was floating on his back. 

\- "Poor me, reduced to a mere boat with no meaning other than to carry around vagabonds" - Moomintroll wailed, covering his eyes with one arm in a dramatic pose. 

\- "Not entirely correct, you wouldn't do this to a mere boat" - Snufkin said, putting his lips on the troll's snout in a small peck.

Moomintroll opened his eyes with shock, losing balance and dropping both to the water. Snufkin came to the surface, giggling and then cackling when Moomintroll shook off the water, and his fur fluffed up making him look like a big round dandelion with a burning red center. 

\- "Not fair, you caught me off guard. It's my turn". 

\- "Only if you get to catch me"- Snufkin challenged, stroking at a big speed to the opposite direction 

Moomintroll stood still with surprise, seeing how in mere seconds Snufkin was sitting at the other side of the pool- "Wait, you told me you didn't know how to swim!". 

Snufkin shrugged, playfully grinning - "I don't, but I can't let the pirates capture me, can I?" 

Moomintroll cackled, stomping -"Oh no you can't, but maybe you require a lesson in manners too". 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Did you know that Albatross form long-term bonds, only separating if one of them dies, but commonly commit infidelity? and that they also have a high rate of same-sex pairing? Well, now you know.
> 
> So I have read lots of fanfics where Snufkin doesn't know how to swim. I´m not sure if it was stated in canon or not but I liked the idea so here we are!  
> My basis for this fanfic was those times when you are in a private lesson, and it's so uncomfortable you just want to say “we should kiss, to break the tension”. I hope I did it right lol. The fact I found out that the Spanish version of “Love me with all of your heart” is the famous “Cuando calienta el sol” by Luis Miguel was a big motivator too haha.
> 
> Fun fact!: I have been to the beach like 2 times in my whole life, so I spend several minutes watching videos of beach landscapes to write this. 
> 
> I was going to add a few songs to this fanfic, but I couldn't choose, so take my whole playlists instead! They are made with lots of love.  
>   
> Snufkin´s playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/625NbBF9LWARcZvAlMeAon?si=ILCeoTQ7TLOSn_YsjpTg9w  
> .  
> Moomintroll´s playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2AIYHdvNL3phMN98Z690Sq?si=f6Jhp45oRWqImtPoTpEGQA
> 
> Why do I keep writing notes so long? who knows. Love you guys, keep safe!


End file.
